Don’t Be Afraid to Shed a Tear
I’m not going to lie, a fair amount of crying goes on at My Sisters’ House. Barely a day goes by without some tears being shed. And that’s absolutely fine, because our women’s centre is a safe space – and there’s a box of tissues in every room.
But more often than not, the tears are accompanied by apologies, and that’s really not necessary. There’s no shame in shedding a tear. In fact, it’s positively encouraged. I asked around this morning and every member of staff I spoke to said that they believe crying can be good for you. And – as is often the case – it would seem that they are absolutely right. Experts of all sorts agree that crying brings with it a wide range of benefits.
To begin with, shedding a tear or two can relieve stress. When scientists analysed the chemical make up of tears, they found that different types of tears have different components. Tears caused by cutting onions, or getting dust in your eye, are not the same as the tears produced as a result of emotion. These emotional tears contain a number of stress hormones and other chemicals, and researchers believe that crying could reduce the levels of these chemicals in the body, which could in turn reduce stress.
It also has emotional as well as physical effects. Crying is actually an important part of processing emotions and overcoming traumatic events. One of the true benefits of crying is accepting how you are feeling and being okay with it; acknowledging emotions you perceive as negative. And that’s a good thing. Because when you numb some emotions, you are often actually numbing all of them. Allowing yourself to cry can also allow you to experience joy, happiness, and all of the other emotions that make us human.
We are the only species that produces emotional tears, and those tears have a social function as well. From our earliest moments as a baby, our tears signal to others that we need help. As an adult, showing your vulnerability by crying in front of someone demonstrates your trust in them, and this can strengthen the bond between you.
On the other side, when you see someone crying, your first instinct is generally to try to help them. That’s not necessarily either easy or possible – you don’t always have the ability to solve the problem that has caused the tears. But you can still help just by being there, acknowledging the hurt.
And even when you cry alone, you may be communicating with yourself. Tears could be your body’s way of saying, “hey, take a break,” or “something’s not right,” or “take care of yourself.” Tearing up can then be a way of your body literally crying out to you. And it’s important to listen.
So don’t hold back. Let the tears flow and you will find yourself calmer, healthier, and more connected to yourself and to the people around you. Don’t beat yourself up over those tears, and definitely don’t apologise.
